I'm really not that busy

Finding hilarity in the mundane since 2008

On the next American Idol

I just watched the American Idol results show.  Typically, I fast forward through most of it unless I like the guest performers. However, I caught myself rewinding and listening to Ryan and Simon.  Ryan was seriously hostile toward Simon.  In turn, Simon was even more condescending and dismissive of Ryan than usual.  Tonight was more than the bickering of two people with polar opposite personalities.  It was like watching married strangers fight right in front of you, awkward and uncomfortable, yet compelling all the same.

Here’s my theory on the cause for increasing discord between Ryan and Simon and where it’s going…

Ryan is gay, Simon is bi, and they had an affair.  Now Simon has chosen to be with a woman.  Ryan, feeling scorned, is taking on air shots at Simon every chance he gets.  Simon is getting tired of the drama and this makes him increasingly cranky with the contestants, other judges, and Ryan.  Simon’s extra acerbic comments finally make Ryan snap and he slaps Simon on air.  Simon rips some gigantic piece of jewelry off Kara and takes a stab at Ryan.  Randy passes out because dawg is squeamish.  Ellen tries to calm everyone down by telling them how nice they look.  Finally Kara sees her chance and jumps on stage screaming “LOOK AT ME!  I’M THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL! I’M ON STAGE NOW AND I’M NEVER LEAVING!”  Cut to Ford commercial.

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2 responses to “On the next American Idol

  1. Tifany March 31, 2010 at 11:29 pm

    Hahahaha…I think you nailed it perfectly!

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