I'm really not that busy

Finding hilarity in the mundane since 2008

Snot gonna happen

This morning Cooper and I went into school with Jack.  Cooper had a snack, a drink, and the adoration of several big kids.  He was in hog heaven.

Then, all of the sudden, he wasn’t.  He threw his biggest tantrum to date.  I refused to buy him Skittles at 8:15 a.m. and he flipped.  It took me fifteen minutes to get him out of the building because was so insane.  He’s a tiny thing, but every inch is muscle.  Snot filled muscle.  He was screaming and kicking and clear snot peppered with little green boogers was pouring out of his nose.  I didn’t care that you could hear him shrieking “SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIITLES!” all over the school.  All I could think was, “I gotta get to the tissues before I barf.”  Lord I hate snot.

Pee?  Is that all you got?

Poop? I could do a one-handed diaper change while applying mascara.

Diarrhea?  Out the diaper?  Up the back?  All over the couch? Yawn.

Vomit?  Smooth or chunky?  Whatever.

I’m a mama, my gag reflex gave up years ago.

But snot?  That’s where my skills forsake me.  I can deal with my own kids’ noses pretty well, but I have to leave the room if another kid has snot and don’t even get me started on boogers.  I remember every unpleasant snot/booger related incident I’ve ever had.  I would share a few with you, some are pretty funny, but I almost threw up just thinking about them.  Really.

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2 responses to “Snot gonna happen

  1. Tenessa March 13, 2010 at 8:37 am

    Kids’ snot (those who are not mine) and I are not friends. Ever. I have a friend who’s kids are perpetually snotty. And I don’t believe I have to say any more than that.

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