I'm really not that busy

Finding hilarity in the mundane since 2008

Drama King

I took Cooper to McDonald’s yesterday to let him run off some steam in the play area.   He was enjoying playing with bigger kids, but having a bit of trouble keeping up.  Finally he asked me to help him take off his socks so he could get better traction on the plastic equipment.  I emphatically denied this request.  He argued with me vociferously.

As his hysteria increased, I racked my brain for a way to stop the argument and keep his socks on without resorting to carrying a screaming toddler out of McDonald’s.   I frantically tried to make eye contact with other mommies hoping one of them would pull a magic mommy trick out of her sleeve.  Apparently the Quarter Pounders were particularly fascinating that day because no one would look at me.

I cast my eyes toward heaven, mumbling a prayer for deliverance from child services when I beat this child with a happy meal toy patience.  I found my salvation not in the form of the Holy Spirit, but in a statue of Ronald McDonald.  I pointed to Ronald and said, “Cooper, keeping your socks on is Ronald’s rule.  If you take them off he’ll make us leave.”

Cooper turned his tear-streaked face to Ronald, raised his hands in supplication and wailed, “WHY, RONALD?”

2 responses to “Drama King

  1. Jennifer March 2, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    I think Ronald is going to be my new “go to” villain.
    “Why can’t I have another piece of candy?” “Ronald ate it.”
    “Why can’t I have a puppy?” “Ronald kicks dogs.”
    “Why can’t I have a quarter?” “Ronald spent all our money at the track.”

  2. kimberly March 2, 2010 at 10:49 am

    We often blame God.

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