I'm really not that busy

Finding hilarity in the mundane since 2008

I wonder if I’ll get a magic wand?

Wednesday I spent some time at Jack’s school.  During art class, three little girls went to the restroom together.  I don’t remember needing to take my girlfriends to the bathroom with me in first grade.  Must be all the hormones in the milk nowadays.  Later, the three girls came bursting back in, rushed to the art teacher, Miss C., and babbled over each other like little magpies (I’m so glad I have boys, little girl chatter is annoying as hell).  I watched from across the room as Miss C. turned white and then green while one of the girls waved a paper towel in her face.  Miss C. is not a mama, I knew my services were needed.

I led the girls away while Miss C. took several deep breaths.  Turns out, a tooth had been pulled in the bathroom.  I told the two girls whose mouths weren’t bloody to go back to art, and led the other girl toward the nurse.  The two friends pretended not to hear me and trailed us down the hall.  I shrugged and kept walking.

As we approached the nurse I asked to see the tooth.  The little girl replied, “I threw it in the trash.”  Then she started to cry.  In my head I said, “What the hell were you thinking, you little idiot?”  Aloud I said, “Okay, honey, let’s see what we can do.”

Long story short, I ended up in the bathroom with a handful of plastic gloves, staring down at a trash can full of paper towels in various shades of wet, slime, and blood.  I then did what any caring adult would do.  I tossed the gloves in the trash, pulled a dollar out of my wallet, and said, “I’m the tooth fairy today, go to class.”


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