I'm really not that busy

Finding hilarity in the mundane since 2008

Don’t Do It (my favorite song by The Band)

Oh, I forgot to tell you guys, the kids also won a bunch of candy at Fast Lanes. Not just crappy off brand candy either. Full-sized candy bars. Hershey’s and shit.

Okay, so technically I won it, but I immediately bequeathed it to the big kids.
Okay, so technically I didn’t bequeath it to them ’cause I think then I would have to die before they got the candy. But, I did tell them it was all theirs and made good on this promise by making Huck & Mel divide it up as soon as Worm went down for his nap.
Those candy bars are now mocking me. It’s taking every ounce of my willpower to stay away from the candy. I want to run to the kitchen, fling open the pantry door, move the collection of Wal-Mart sacks, open the random left-over Christmas box…..
Crap, now I have to think up a new candy hiding spot or you blood-suckers will sneak in and clean me out.
Shit, guys, I want to rip into that candy with such force that I eat some of the wrappers and not even notice.
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