I'm really not that busy

Finding hilarity in the mundane since 2008

Minty fresh poo

Today I took all three kids to our local library….

Um, I’m waiting for you to say “THREE kids?”….
Oh, you did? Sorry, didn’t hear you. Damn internet isn’t turned up loud enough.
Okay, so I have a friend who works from home.  She has an eleven year old daughter.  Let’s call her Melbourne, Mel for short.  Having Mel at home makes my friend’s life harder.  Having Mel with me makes my life easier because she is free slave labor the kids love her.  I have her on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  It’s awesome!
On Tuesdays we go to the library for Huck & Mel to participate in reading groups and for Worm to act like a total turd in public.  There’s a story-time for his age group as well, but he would rather chew off his own feet than attend.  At least that was my understanding on Tuesday.  The holy hell fit he pitched when I tried to enter the story room could have indicated that he would rather chew off his own elbows.  I’m not really certain of anything except that he was going to start biting if we didn’t get the eff away from the soft spoken lady, puppets, craft supplies and happy children.
On Thursdays the library has kid friendly entertainment, so we went back.  It was kiddy music. It was horrible.  Huck loved it. 
How does a kid like The Clash and a duo that opens with ‘If You’re Happy and You Know It’ and closes with the alphabet song set to a really generic Reggae beat?
It started out okay.  Worm sat on my lap, away from the other kids, and said “SONG” after the first tune.  He even sat on the rug by Jack, briefly.  Then they sang a song about candy.  Worm lost his shit.
He began crying and yelling “CANDY” and digging through my purse.  I had no candy.  I did have some Breath Savers.  I bit one in half and let him eat it.  He liked it and wanted to eat the whole roll.  I don’t know what eating a roll of Breath Savers will do to a two year old’s stomach. I imagine the result would be diarrhea that smells refreshing. I’m not interested in testing that theory.
He was so inconsolable that I had to take him out to the car.  In the car we listened to really bad kid music and did not eat candy.  He was happy as a clam.

One response to “Minty fresh poo

  1. jo June 11, 2009 at 10:16 pm

    I still refuse to believe that sweet little boy has turned into a turd since his birthday. Such a sweet little boy…

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