Today Worm and I spent two hours at Chick-Fil-A. Have I ever mentioned I’m really not that busy?
Truck was working at home, so I needed to keep Rowdy McHollerpants out of the house. We went to a Chick-Fil-A that is not close to home, because it has the best indoor play area. Yes, I will drive fifteen minutes out of my way to go to the good play area. Don’t judge me, I’m getting desperate for cheap ways to fill the day until the good weather kicks in. Worm loves this play area so much that I actually get to read the whole time he plays. If I crack open a book anywhere else he immediately is incapable of doing anything but holding my leg and yelling MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA!
I wasn’t going to eat anything, but if you can smell a Chicken Biscuit and not order one, you are made of steel. So I asked another mom, who did not look like a baby stealer, to keep an eye on Worm and went up to the counter.
It happened to be the fast food time of reckoning, you know 10:30 a.m. I placed my order and the lady said, “Lucky you, that was the last breakfast order!” Then I heard a gasp behind me. I turned around and saw a very distraught, very pregnant lady. She actually had tears in her eyes.
I know exactly how she felt. There is nothing more consuming than a pregnancy craving. I used to think pregnant women just used cravings as an excuse to self-indulge. Wow, I was a judgmental asshole!
Once, with Huck I craved Baskin Robbins Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream so badly I left work to find some. I went crazy trying to find a Baskin Robbins within 30 miles of me. When I found one, I ate three scoops and took two gallons home.
With Worm I wanted orange juice all the time, so that was a pretty easy craving. But one day I wanted McDonald’s chicken nuggets more than I wanted my figure back. I went through the drive-through, bought a 10 piece and ate it before I was out of the parking lot. Seriously. No. Chewing. Then I wanted more, but I didn’t want to go back through that drive-through because I didn’t want them to think I was bulimic. I drove to two more McDonald’s that day. Thirty McNuggets in thirty minutes.
Believe me, I KNOW what that poor lady was feeling. It was panic, mixed with bitter disappointment, with a little nausea thrown in just for fun.
So, I did what any decent human being would do, I told her she could have the last Chicken Biscuit.
She actually hugged me.