I'm really not that busy

Finding hilarity in the mundane since 2008

So I don’t have anything to add about octomom

I certainly can’t say anything nice about octomom.  I can’t say anything original either. Other folks already used up all the funny on that topic.  Seriously, is there anything left you would like to know about that woman?  Just sayin’.

I know you’re wondering why I’m even bringing her up.  It’s been weeks since her fifteen minutes should have run out, yet here I am perpetuating her ridiculous fame by giving the googlers something else to find when they search for her.  Sorry googlers, I’m done with her now.
I’m just using octomom as a lead in to my own little medical miracle/cultural phenomenon: octotoddler. 
I suspected Worm was octo-like, but I had no idea until I Wikipediaed (yes I make up words, a lot) for octo-info.
Let’s just compare, shall we?
Octopus – has eight arms
Worm – has eight arms, at least. I’m still trying to get an accurate count
Octopus – able to squeeze through unusually tight spaces 
Worm – able to squeeze behind the couch, convincingly cry as if he were stuck, giggle and pop out when you rush to his rescue
Octopus – knows to build forts for protection 
Worm – knows to burrow under his “night-night” when sad or sleepy
Octopus – creates traps for food
Worm – traps mama with puppy dog eyes and big tears when snacks are not forthcoming
Octopus – extremely gifted escape artist using techniques such as hiding, fleeing, camouflage, and expelling ink as a distraction
Worm – extremely gifted escape artist using techniques such as hiding, fleeing, camouflage, and expelling ink…. okay, he has the hiding & fleeing down.  He wears these cute camo pants and really likes to color on himself with markers, that’s kind of like an octopus, right?
Octopus – does not enjoy haircuts
Worm – really really does not enjoy haircuts.
Okay, so the secret’s out, I made up that last fact.  Octopuses may actually enjoy haircuts, I couldn’t find data, so I went with my gut on that one.  
All signs point to this – I have an octotoddler.  I expect the paparazzi any minute now.  I would like to clarify that I will not allow any pictures to be published and he will not do any interviews, without monetary compensation, that is.  I did learn something from octomom.

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