It’s noon on the first day of Spring Break. I’m already sick of it. I decided to get a bit off schedule this week to give myself an idea what this summer is going to be like. It’s gonna suck.
I barely deviated from my schedule and today already sucked. A. LOT.
Instead of getting showered and dressed before the kids got up, I waited until they had both finished breakfast. I thought this would be a good test of Worm’s tolerance. Turned out to be a test of mine. Rather than having a relaxing, albeit early, shower, I had ten measly minutes of anxiously peering through the steamy door to see what dangers Worm had found in the bathroom and yelling over the water at Huck to remove said dangers from his chubby baby clutches. I did not shave, I did not use my exfoliating facial scrub, I might not have rinsed all the conditioner out of my hair. My shower sucked. Really, really sucked. Looks like I am getting up at 5 a.m. every day for 3 more years. Either that or start trimming back my hygiene requirements. Hairy legs, clogged pores, and limp hair could be my new look. Sure.
The only other deviation was going to Wal-Mart with both boys at 10 a.m. instead of 8:30 a.m. with only Worm. Can you guess how it was? That’s right, it sucked.
Huck is a little impulse shopping machine. He is also a talker, and a fidgeter, and a dawdler, and a wonderer, and a daydreamer, and all sorts of other things that make me INSANE when I’m trying to get something done.
Huck has been refusing to go to the grocery store with me for about two years. I remember why now. About two years ago he got too big to ride in the cart. Having a task to focus on AND a child to look after makes me really cranky. I get anxious because I can’t accomplish the chore efficiently and I can’t look after the child with 100% focus which makes me uncomfortable. From the minute we got out of the car to the minute we got back in it, I was one big ball of nerves and I totally took it out on Huck.
When he got ahead of me, I called him back. When he got behind me, I told him to keep up. When he stopped to look at something, I told him to stop staring like an idiot and either ask me for it or keep moving. When he began playing a game that involved weird facial expressions and jerky dance moves, I hissed at him to stop. When he kept up a running play-by-play of the shopping trip for twenty minutes (I’m fairly certain this was without actually pausing to breathe), I said “GOOD GOD, CAN I GET FIVE MINUTES OF SILENCE?” Loudly. In the cereal aisle. Next to a super-mom in yoga pants, no body fat, and a toddler who was reading from the grocery list in two languages. No shit. Except for the bilingual toddler part. She might have been trilingual.
Basically, I treated him so rudely that I apologized once we got home and told him I would find a way to continue shopping without him this summer. He accepted my apology and agreed we did not make a good grocery team.
I know one trip to Wal-Mart is not indicative of our entire summer, but it could be if I don’t start making plans now. Let’s face it, I have to have a schedule. Even during spring break. Even during summer. There will be no lazy hazy days of summer for us. It would make me too crazy.