I'm really not that busy

Finding hilarity in the mundane since 2008

So google thinks I need stuff

Have you seen the “needs” meme?  Holy cannoli, it is F.U.N!  You take your name and type it with the word needs in the google search and see what pops up.  I put my “needs” list on facebook, but am doing it here too because I have SO MANY comments to add.

1. Jennifer needs a smack daddy.  Yes, google, yes I do.  I haven’t been anyone’s bitch in a while.  How do you know my secret needs?
2. Jennifer needs to give birth next week.  What?  I thought that was just a food baby, too many corn dogs and all.  Man, I have some explaining to do when Truck gets home.
3. Jennifer needs to play by the rules.  Go ahead, try and make me.  I’ll be your smack daddy before this is over, google.
4. Jennifer needs a cane.  Are you threatening me now?
5. Jennifer needs to date Jason.  Wow, didn’t see that one coming. I know a couple of Jasons, is there one in particular I should be making eyes at? Maybe I should I let Truck pick since this guy might end up as his kids’ new daddy.
6. Jennifer needs a shave.  Oh, now that is just uncalled for.  It’s winter, no one can see my legs.  You were talking about my legs, right?
7. Jennifer needs your support.  Yup, google has hurt my feelings.  I am a bit vulnerable now.  Jason? Call me, ‘k?
8. Jennifer needs to get over Brad. Oh, now I see how Jason figures into this.  He is my rebound guy.  Brad, I know Angie is hot and all, but I can adopt dark skinned children and dress in all black too.  Just give me a chance, smack daddy, Brad.  Call me, ‘k?
9. Jennifer needs to date men her age.  I am assuming you mean mental age.  I’ll check out the Jr. High parking lot when I pick Huck up from school.
10. Jennifer needs our prayers.  Did things go badly with my new Jr. High beau, Jason? Or possibly I am going to hell for mocking the holy church of google? Not sure why this list is ending on such a cryptic note, but I would appreciate if all my readers would send one out for me just in case.


4 responses to “So google thinks I need stuff

  1. Jen March 3, 2009 at 10:18 pm

    Truly addictive and slightly scary with some of the spot-on-ness.

  2. jo March 3, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    Yeah, my name did not produce hardly any results…let alone any interesting ones. I guess I should spell my name in the more mainstream way, I’m sure the outcome would be a lot more entertaining.

    Wow…yep, first one is “Jo needs bigger breasts”! Clearly the folks at google don’t realize that I have spent the better part of 4 years trying to lose weight, most of which came from my breasts!!! And that was much to my delight. They really are crazy over there in google-land!

    Hee hee…next is “Jo needs love and support” then, “Jo needs to pray” and “Jo needs to be stopped”!

    That’s fun stuff!

  3. Jen March 3, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    I have been thinking the same thing. Its like google was right inside my sick, twisted little head with it’s insights about me.

    I’m purchasing a new corn zipper tomorrow.

  4. Big E March 3, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    I am now convinced that at some point Google will become self-aware. Think Skynet and Terminator.

    Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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