Have you seen the “needs” meme? Holy cannoli, it is F.U.N! You take your name and type it with the word needs in the google search and see what pops up. I put my “needs” list on facebook, but am doing it here too because I have SO MANY comments to add.
1. Jennifer needs a smack daddy. Yes, google, yes I do. I haven’t been anyone’s bitch in a while. How do you know my secret needs?
2. Jennifer needs to give birth next week. What? I thought that was just a food baby, too many corn dogs and all. Man, I have some explaining to do when Truck gets home.
3. Jennifer needs to play by the rules. Go ahead, try and make me. I’ll be your smack daddy before this is over, google.
4. Jennifer needs a cane. Are you threatening me now?
5. Jennifer needs to date Jason. Wow, didn’t see that one coming. I know a couple of Jasons, is there one in particular I should be making eyes at? Maybe I should I let Truck pick since this guy might end up as his kids’ new daddy.
6. Jennifer needs a shave. Oh, now that is just uncalled for. It’s winter, no one can see my legs. You were talking about my legs, right?
7. Jennifer needs your support. Yup, google has hurt my feelings. I am a bit vulnerable now. Jason? Call me, ‘k?
8. Jennifer needs to get over Brad. Oh, now I see how Jason figures into this. He is my rebound guy. Brad, I know Angie is hot and all, but I can adopt dark skinned children and dress in all black too. Just give me a chance, smack daddy, Brad. Call me, ‘k?
9. Jennifer needs to date men her age. I am assuming you mean mental age. I’ll check out the Jr. High parking lot when I pick Huck up from school.
10. Jennifer needs our prayers. Did things go badly with my new Jr. High beau, Jason? Or possibly I am going to hell for mocking the holy church of google? Not sure why this list is ending on such a cryptic note, but I would appreciate if all my readers would send one out for me just in case.