I certainly can’t say anything nice about octomom. I can’t say anything original either. Other folks already used up all the funny on that topic. Seriously, is there anything left you would like to know about that woman? Just sayin’.
I know you’re wondering why I’m even bringing her up. It’s been weeks since her fifteen minutes should have run out, yet here I am perpetuating her ridiculous fame by giving the googlers something else to find when they search for her. Sorry googlers, I’m done with her now.
I’m just using octomom as a lead in to my own little medical miracle/cultural phenomenon: octotoddler.
I suspected Worm was octo-like, but I had no idea until I Wikipediaed (yes I make up words, a lot) for octo-info.
Let’s just compare, shall we?
Octopus – has eight arms
Worm – has eight arms, at least. I’m still trying to get an accurate count
Octopus – able to squeeze through unusually tight spaces
Worm – able to squeeze behind the couch, convincingly cry as if he were stuck, giggle and pop out when you rush to his rescue
Octopus – knows to build forts for protection
Worm – knows to burrow under his “night-night” when sad or sleepy
Octopus – creates traps for food
Worm – traps mama with puppy dog eyes and big tears when snacks are not forthcoming
Octopus – extremely gifted escape artist using techniques such as hiding, fleeing, camouflage, and expelling ink as a distraction
Worm – extremely gifted escape artist using techniques such as hiding, fleeing, camouflage, and expelling ink…. okay, he has the hiding & fleeing down. He wears these cute camo pants and really likes to color on himself with markers, that’s kind of like an octopus, right?
Octopus – does not enjoy haircuts
Worm – really really does not enjoy haircuts.
Okay, so the secret’s out, I made up that last fact. Octopuses may actually enjoy haircuts, I couldn’t find data, so I went with my gut on that one.
All signs point to this – I have an octotoddler. I expect the paparazzi any minute now. I would like to clarify that I will not allow any pictures to be published and he will not do any interviews, without monetary compensation, that is. I did learn something from octomom.