Do you remember a few weeks ago (October 28th to be exact) when I described my days as having a quiet rhythm? Throw that out the window. Worm has marched fully into toddlerhood and I believe it will be an entirely new experience for me.
Let me describe Huck as a toddler: reasonable, easy-going, quiet, cuddly, kind, polite, communicative in a way even strangers could understand. Are you rolling your eyes yet? Seriously, he was soooooo easy. That’s not going to be the case with Worm.
If you have been paying attention you know I frequently hang out at school in the morning doing odd jobs for the PTA or Huck’s teacher. Usually Worm sits in his stroller, eats snacks and watches all the activity. But recently something clicked with him and he realized that screaming, crying and kicking are a good way to get out of the stroller. Had I known I was setting a precedent, I never would have let him out of the stroller at school. But that pig is already a BLT, so there is no sitting in the stroller at school now.
So what happened this morning that is blog-worthy? I enjoy making lists, maybe it will be less painful to recount if I do it as Worm’s TO DO list. Keep in mind, this list is only for 7:45 to 8:45 a.m.
1. Throw brand new hat down in parking lot.
2. Get mad when wheeled back out into cold to retrieve hat.
3. Immediately say down, Down, DOWN, DOOOWWWNNN! upon entering building.
4. Continue to scream DOWN while mama navigates crowded halls with stroller.
5. When allowed out of stroller in Huck’s classroom, scream NO at anyone who comes within three feet of me.
6. Empty drawer full of blocks onto floor.
7. Rip open ziplock bag of crayons while mama puts blocks away.
8. Color on table with crayon.
9. Scream when mama takes away crayons.
10. Holler NA! NA! NA! when mama opens supply closet to get replacement ziplock (he knows the snacks are kept here).
11. Get a snack from Huck’s nice teacher.
12. Pull books off bookshelf.
13. Say DOG and very sweetly hug stuffed dog (not everything on this list is horrible).
14. Take someone’s pencil.
15. Panic because cannot see mama. Insist that mama pick me up and holler BYE-BYE repeatedly until she leaves the classroom.
16. See water fountain, squirm to get down and play in fountain.
17. Play happily in fountain for five minutes while mama conducts PTA business.
18. Realize I am very wet from playing in fountain and decide this is unacceptable.
19. Toddle to mama and insistently say BAH, BAH, BAH while patting my diaper.
20. Confuse mama when she checks my diaper and sees it is clean and dry.
21. Continue to say BAH until mama realizes that I am using my “change my diaper” signal to mean “change my entire outfit, it is wet”.
22. Settle for mama removing my wet sweatshirt.
23. Head back toward water fountain.
24. Get really mad and throw temper tantrum when mama won’t let me near it.
25. Need another snack, and my cup, and a pen, and a rubber band, and the box tops for education collection container, and some coffee stirrers, and my favorite toy car, and whatever is in this trash can, and the other pen that mama is writing with, and a pencil instead, and these boxes of cereal in this cabinet, and that kid’s book, and that kid’s animal crackers, and NO I DON’T WANT BACK IN THE STROLLER.
26. Kick and hit mama.
27. Very sweetly babble to myself and push my stroller around in the lobby.
28. Try to put my fingers in the paper shredder.
29. Find the on button for the paper shredder and try again to put my fingers in.
30. Lose interest in paper shredder now that the school principal has unplugged it.
31. Need another snack.
32. Say no to all snacks mama offers.
33. Decide to wonder down the hall to find Huck (or possibly just looking for better snacks).
34. Bang on Huck’s classroom door while yelling his name.
35. Hang out in Huck’s classroom while mama reads a story to the big kids because the teacher has a sick child of her own to deal with and needs to call the doctor’s office.
36. Play with dry erase markers much to the amusement of big kids.
37. Write on my beautiful blond hair with black marker.
38. Throw fit when mama takes away marker.
39. Climb on chair and bang computer keys very loudly.
40. Get down, sit with big kids, listen to story for 30 seconds.
41. Go to supply closet and yell NA! NA! NA!
42. Allow Huck’s teacher to hold me while mama finishes story. Act very sweet and lay head on her shoulder.
43. Throw fit about leaving Huck’s classroom.
44. Try to make a break for the water fountain.
45. Completely stiffen body in a way that makes it impossible to put me in stroller.
46. Very sweetly walk to car holding mama’s hand.