I'm really not that busy

Finding hilarity in the mundane since 2008

So I went to Sam’s Club

Worm and I went to Sam’s this morning after dropping Huck off at school, hanging around the school office to see what’s up, and then going to the bank to get my name on the PTA bank account…. the pieces of my plan are falling into place, they know me now & have given me access to their funds, taking over this school will be a piece of cake – insert evil laugh.  

Okay, back to the trip to Sam’s.  First I have to say this: if your membership to Sam’s is not a business membership, figure out how to get one.  You get to go early when the lines are short and the cashiers are cheerful (seriously, those cashiers are pretty moody come three p.m.). They also provide coffee & little muffins for the business shoppers, score! Plus the food hander outers are all fully stocked – vital when at Sam’s with children.
So I went to Sam’s to get a set of pots & pans for the teacher’s lounge (there is a stove, but no pots, go figure).  My newly acquired PTA checkbook in hand, I was ready to get those teachers some vessels to heat up their soup.  
But first I had to check out the Christmas items.  Look, a cute gift-wrapped box of truffles that would be just perfect for a hostess gift or last minute exchange, so it goes in the cart.  Okay, on to the kitchen aisle… wait, Worm sees food being handed out… we are now in the food section, might as well have a look around.  Hey, True North has a new snack with dried cranberries and almonds.  I love cranberries & almonds, lets get an institutional sized bag of those!  Now, what was I here for, oh yeah, pots. Let’s cut through the clothes section to get there faster.  Hey, that sweater is kind of cute.  Nope, too scratchy.  Hmm, an orange jacket, I love orange, nope too boxy.  Wow, these jeans are a great price, ten minutes later my size cannot be found.  Crap, why did I come to Sam’s?  Wait! Diapers!  Must go back to other side of store for giant box of diapers.  Uh-oh, back in the food section & Worm is hollering NA (snack) and pointing at a guy with some sort of shrimp appetizer.  Worm doesn’t care that it is 9:30 a.m., anytime is NA-time.  He tastes the shrimp, he thoughtfully chews the shrimp, do you see where this is going? Yes sir, he spits the shrimp down the front of his shirt.  Nummy.  Now he is hollering CUH (cup) because he wants the shrimp taste out of his mouth, but he has already drained the cup I brought.  Must get Worm a drink before his yelling enrages the cheerful cashiers so we hunt down a water fountain…
To make a long story slightly less long I will cut to the parking lot.  After loading the diapers, cranberry-almond snacks and truffles into the car I realize I have not purchased any pots & pans.  Looks like we are headed to Wal-Mart after nap.  Stay tuned.
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